Life can be such a pain sometimes you know? I know I should be blessed to live every day but what’s the point if you can’t have what you want? Sitting down thinking about certain people made me realized you can’t have everything you want no matter how hard you try even if you be nice to them. True they’re just friends but you wanted more. You kinda realized you were lonely. Lonely enough to fall for anybody that cross your eyes. Being lonely is a hard battle if you ask me… you try to fight it off trying to be around with different people or staying home watching random t.v shows and etc… it can really be a pain, it’s like you fighting demons because you wanna push everyone away from you and be lock up in your room all day unless you cooking or using the bathroom or leaving for work. You sit there and wonder when it’s going to end, who going to make it stop or will this pointless battle last forever… I have been out of place lately, my mind is gone 24/7 but I realize I just have to act my normal self, and that stay chilling at all times. Hanging with people who has good vibes, try to get my life back on track no matter who I meet, try to force myself to go out more and make new friends who can lift you up, all these things come to your mind so so easy, but it’s up to you if you wanna make that change. True certain people can make an impact on your life and they leave you for no reason( and no I not talking about my ex) got nothing but love for her…. but in the mean time, I’ll see how this battle go. Thank you for reading if you did.


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13 responses to “Wondering”

  1. Just because a relationship ends doesn’t mean it was a bad relationship. You seem to have learned this as well. People influence us for different amounts of time in our lives. I’ve known people for mere minutes who changed my entire life. You have the key when you say it is important to surround yourself with positive people. I am a blend of extrovert and introvert. I need large amounts of time alone but need people as well. It sounds like this might describe you as well. I’m glad you are pushing yourself to go out and meet new people. Activities, I have found, are the best ways to make friends you are going to continue to want to be around. For me, this centers around writing, art and music. Have you ever joined a writing group? Other than friends met in college, that is where I’ve met most of my really good and interesting friends. A great way to relate to people, as I’m sure you are discovering through your blog. Best of luck. Keep engaged in life! Judy

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve learned that whenever I’ve struggled with being lonely, it’s because I didn’t want to deal with myself. It’s the times I’ve had some stuff to work through (emotionally, mentally, physically), that I find myself needing more outside things to distract me. It’s SO much easier to focus on everything else when you’re not focusing on your own demons. Try shifting your perspective. Instead of saying “I feel lonely. I don’t want to be alone”, try saying “what can I learn about myself in this season?” Because being lonely doesn’t last forever. Nothing lasts forever. Use this time to focus on growing, changing, and adapting for the better and in no time, you’ll look up and realize you’ve now begun to attract the kind of people in your life that build you up and help you get to what you want. Nothing worthwhile in life will ever be handed to you. You’ve gotta do the work, even the tough stuff, even the seemingly mundane stuff, to have the life you want to have. ❤ sending you love!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the kind words, I knew I recognize your name when I awaken and saw your comment. I wrote this post like 2 or 3 years ago and decided to shared it on here and everything you said I’d to do just to find myself. And I’m happy that I did. Yeah I wish things was a little different but I’m still bless to be alive to tell other people my story or just advice.


  3. I know what you mean. I’m wary of getting too close to people “in real life” because of getting hurt. It’s good to get out there though and take things slowly. There are good people. Sometimes they’re the ones hurting as well and holding back. Beware of the smiling salesmen types who want to be best friends right off the bat.

    Liked by 1 person

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